ctrl + alt + revolt

I’ll be completely honest with you, I love a good glow-up as much as the next girl. I love a matcha and an expensive trip to Sephora. But somewhere along the way, self-care stopped being… care… and it started being a performance entirely. Optimization. Right? A twelve step skincare routine to heal from capitalism, a new stanley cup to hydrate our trauma, and a daily hot girl walk to outrun our existential dread.

I recently came across a tiktok video that said something about a “hot girl morning routine,” and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I was driving in silence (rare lol) and started reflecting on the way the “hot girl” and “it girl” terms are being usednow. As I recall, it once started as “hot girl summer,” and it meant freedom, rebellion, chaos, and fun. Now, it has become an endless to-do list of  “self-care.” 

Somewhere along the way, the “hot girl” energy got hijacked. It was turned from celebration into routine, from rebellion into regulation.

Brands rebranded liberation into lifestyle content, and influencers turned joy into discipline. Now every “hot girl” is expected to be a wellness CEO with perfect habits and a body that screams restraint. The vibe shifted from being alive to being optimized.

Yea… the patriarchy got us there. 

Because while we’re obsessing over being clean, soft, hot, productive, and “healed,” the true aspects of womanhood that we should value are crumbling. Women’s rights are regressing, inequality is exploding, and the planet is on fire. But at least our instagram feed is enviable, right?

Self-Improvement or Self-Surveillance?

The current era of self-improvement is not about inner growth. It’s not about learning, healing, asking hard questions, or actually changing your life. It’s about changing how other people perceive your life. It’s not “how do I become better?” It’s “how do I look like I have my shit together?” It has even become an unspoken competition of who’s doing more. 

This is not empowerment!!!! This is surveillance. It’s patriarchal conditioning rebranded as discipline. We are literally doing it to ourselves. You’re not building routines for you, you’re building routines that make you look successful, balanced, pretty, in control. These routines are not designed for you and your needs. It makes absolutely zero sense that we should ALL be doing the same thing every day when we all have such different, unique, and specific lives. 

We are not journaling to explore our thoughts; we are journaling to match the aesthetic of the girl we follow on tiktok. We are not working out to feel strong, we’re working out to fit into our Alo leggings and one-size brandy melville top. We are not doing skincare to nurture our bodies; we are doing it to post “my 5 AM routine” and feel morally superior to someone who wakes up at 9.

This is not healing; it’s toxic perfectionism and unnecessary competition. 

Hyperfemininity as a Distraction

If I were trying to stop women from organizing, from protesting, from fighting back, I’d do precisely what the internet is doing now. I’d convince them their power lies in being small, soft, non-threatening, and pretty. I’d make them think activism is cringe, but being that girl is aspirational. I’d distract them with products, routines, rituals— anything to make them too busy to fight back. 

Hyperfemininity is the new leash. We are so wrapped up in looking pretty and put-together that we don’t even notice we’re being domesticated. 

The Productivity Trap

Productivity culture is the other side of the same trap. If you’re not trying to be your hottest self, you’re trying to be your most efficient. You track your steps, your sleep, your screen time, your calorie burn, your focus blocks, your “wins.” You’re trying to make your day look like a fucking Notion template.

You work out like it’s a job, you rest like you’re a machine, you meditate like it’s a KPI.

You are your own manager, intern, assistant, and HR department all rolled into one. You’re living inside your own little corporate fantasy, and no one’s even paying you for it.

Hot Girls Are Over It

We’ve spent so long trying to be enough. Pretty enough, smart enough, productive enough, gentle enough, strong enough, cool enough… that we forgot to ask enough for who?

Who are we performing for?

Why are we putting all this energy into being ~hot and healed~ when the world is actively trying to take our rights away? Why are we taught to “manifest” our dream lives instead of fighting for better ones?

I’m not saying throw away your skincare or stop organizing your life. You deserve care, you deserve beauty, you deserve peace. But you also deserve truth. And the truth is, most of what we call self-care today is not about you. It is about keeping you quiet, cute, busy, and harmless.

So maybe it’s time to be less “put together.”

Maybe it’s time to be loud. Messy. Angry. Non-aesthetic. Off-brand.

Maybe being weird and crazy is the most radical form of self-care we have left.